Thursday, May 21, 2009

i am not good at this.

i do not specialize in packing.
i am not good at saying goodbye. i am awkward and i usually run away.
i hate empty drawers. i do not like looking at empty bookshelves.
folding and sorting is downright awful.
spaces are supposed to be filled.

i do not specialize in giving speeches.
tonight i went to polly's pies with ten or so
of my closest friends. then there came an awkward
time of recognizing that i would be gone for nine months.
a speech was called for, and all i could say was that i had
to pee real bad. and that i felt real awkward. they laughed.
so i guess it wasn't half bad.
but nonetheless, nine months is a long time.
i feel blessed to have such beautiful friends.

people will grow. change. mature.
move on. make stupid decisions.
change their majors. get the internship they wanted.
go to foreign countries. fall in love.

i linger too much on the future,
the unspoken conversations i wish we had,
and the things that i will not be a part of.
call it a fault, i suppose.


please do not wait for me,
but please do not change too much.
leave some room for me when i get back.

1 comment:

The Costume Mistress said...

beth c, i love your awkward speeches, and i would love it even if you didn't have to pee really bad. there is room for you wherever I go, even if I end up living in a closet or a storm drain or a mansion. I will miss you so much you have no idea :(